Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Attempting my rough draft

Hypothesis: Who is at fault for Bacon's Rebellion?

Thesis:The Government of Virginia is at fault for Bacon's Rebellion, not Nathanial Bacon.





The doings of Bacon's Rebellion was a significant time in history. This is true no matter what angle you chose to look at it from. Bacon's Rebellion was highly significant because it was an event that interfered with authority, defiance, confrontation, hostility, struggle, and evidently, no solution. As all these interferences will be expressed throughout the essay. They are voiced in such a way that shows that the Government of Virginia is clearly at fault for Bacon's Rebellion, not Nathanial Bacon.

During the 17c. William Berkeley was appointed Governor of Virginia by the King of England. It would soon come to be that Governor Berkeley's control of the government would be a major contribution to Bacon's Rebellion. Governor Berkeley met the needs and satisfactions of the upper class, leaving the lower class--mostly farmers-- out of the picture..[insert fact/citation here]. When the colonists first arrived to the new Virginian lands, Berkeley allowed his colony to settle on native lands. While moving to native lands, Berkeley also wanted to befriend the natives, without consulting ahead of time to see exactly what he was getting himself, and his colony into. The colony of Virginia knew nothing about the Natives and their lifestyles. Taking land from these people, then trying to become friends with them was not the smartest action Berkeley performed. [insert fact/citation here]. Of course Berkeley was doing what he thought was best for his colony, but poor decision making came from the fact that Berkeley was new to the New World, just like all the colonists, causing him to make naive adjustments.

As the colonist settled to the new lands, so did conflicts [add fact/citation here] Problems from petty to serious matters between the natives and colonists commonly resulted in murder [add fact/citation here]. The horrible events brought the colonist to their leader, Governor Berkeley. They went to him for help and guidance against the natives hoping for an answer; for a stop to the madness. Unfortunately, Berkeley did just the opposite of the needs for his people. Instead of stepping up as a leader, Berkeley merely embraced the Natives for trading matters [add fact/citation here]. Selfishly more concerned with the economy of Virginia, than the innocent lives of people is what Berkeley was choosing. (((What else was behind Berk's motives to turn the people down? )))

Durng this time period, there was basically two types of social rank. The upper class--usually made up of rich plantation owners, and the lower class that included indentured servants and necessitous farmers. Governor Berkeley favored the higher rank in the social class as they greatly admired him. For obvious reasons, it was more satisfactory to please the people with wealth. The people of the lower class were not being heard nor being reassured of their needs from the leadership of the colony. This made many lower classmen furious, causing an uproar of rebellios men. [add fact/citation here]. One man that stands the test of all the lower class, was the great Nathanial Bacon.

When Berkeley recieved a complaint from a colonist, Nathanial Bacon, it would not be the last time Berkeley would encounter Bacon. Bacon was upset because natives had killed his friend and servant [add fact/citation here] When feeling no help from the Governor, Bacon became even more upset. Little did Berkeley know, sitting back and chosing to ignore the people's cry for help, would give Bacon the authority to pass


how this relates to modern day (do not say "it relates"!!)
Coming to the New World was opening the door to endless opportunity. Although the colony was not even a country or a nation yet, freedom was everywhere. Freedom was throughout laws and rules. Freedom was the colonist coming to the New World to start a new beginning. Bacon stood up for what he believed and broke through for rights; for freedom. He wanted to be noticed, to be heard and he very well accomplished that. By doing so, he set his stone in history. This is carried throughout each generation. This event has been one link in the chain to why our wonderful country is known for its independance and freedom to this day.

5 comments:

Emily said...

I think you have a pretty good "attempt" at a first rough draft. It is very organized and has plenty of info. One of the main things that it is lacking is quotes, but i saw you placed little reminders where you did want them. I am a little confused about what your main topic is, besides what you said for your thesis.(class, economics, etc.)

aleks said...

I thought you had very smooth transitions between you paragraphs, your organization was fairly decent, and your point was clear...well planned.

On the "how it relates" part of the essay, it would help if you focused on a specific recent event instead of just a general idea.

Katherine said...

Gaby your rough draft is pretty good. The length needs to be longer. Your word choices are great. This whole piece flows together well also. Just add your facts to back up your opinions. You also stay on the topic which is great. No sidetracking. Your piece is coming together pretty well.
:D

Kendra Nelson said...

I like how you left yourself little notes in your draft. This way I know that you know you have more to add.

I like your sentence structure too.

In your first paragraph you say: "As all these interferences will be expressed throughout the essay." I don't think that's a complete sentence. (I could be wrong though!)

In paragraph three you state: "The horrible events brought the colonist to their leader, Governor Berkeley." I don't understand this sentence. Maybe you could somehow combine this sentence with the next one?

One issue I'm having with your essay is that I don't see your hypothesis being proven throughout it.

Other than that I like your essay. I think you're off to a great start!I can see you have put a lot of hard work into your essay!

Mikaela said...

I really like your introduction and conclusion, they're well thought out and flow. Its a really good first attempt, and you have a lot of good stuff to build off of.